Teller: “Hi, did you get your hair cut?”
Me: “Yeah, I sure did. Got it shaped up a little.”

Teller: No response, blank stare

Hhhmmmm…. K. When I think a baby is not going to win the cutest baby contest ?but I have to ooo & aahhh, I normally say “Awe, look at him/her.” It ambiguous enough and nice enough to avoid the awkward silence of the above situation. If you are going to mention the hair cut specifically, I think you are obligated by the rules of politeness to follow up with a compliment on it whether it is a lie or not.

I’m just saying… it kinda gave me a complex. Why did she mention it? Did she think that mentioning it was enough of a compliment? It was an implied compliment because she mentioned it? She hated it but felt an obligation to mention because it was a noticeable difference? Hurumph. I didn’t like it one bit… so my suggestion to you is not to mention any noticeable, voluntary change a person has made without following up with a compliment. And yes, I am suggesting to lie if you have to.

Bookmark to:

Since September 2005, I had been a regular exerciser up until about a year ago. I went 5-6 times a week without fail. Then life changed, priorities changed and sheer will power has waned to an every other week schedule over the past year. I could feel the ache in my hips and knees by the end of the non-exercising week but it would be alleviated when I got back on the wagon. Of course, everything improved when I was on the wagon… my attitude, will power towards food, energy levels. Everything improves when I’m regularly exercising.

As much as I know this, there have been moments in life this past year that exercise took a major back burner and I just didn’t have it in me to just do it. 

The past three weeks have been that way for me with the move. I have enjoyed shopping, decorating and unpacking much more than the idea of exercising. During the 2nd week, my left hip was really giving me fits. Then during this past week, both hips started in… just falling apart at 31 and I can’t even imagine what the rest of my life entails for my body!

I don’t want this to sound like a pity party because everyone has ailments that we live with. This post is all about the benefits of exercising. The longer I went without hitting the gym, the worse my body felt and the more I DIDN’T want to go workout. It is a terrible cycle. 

This morning, all I feel is the soreness of not having ran in 3 weeks. The other issues have improved greatly. It’s truly an amazing thing to give the body what it needs~ A sedentary life is not what our bodies crave. As much as I didn’t want to go to the gym last night, I have no other choice if I really want to maintain my weightloss and general health. I don’t want to be on drugs and need surgeries if I can avoid it by doing the best I can do for my body through nutrition and exercise.

I hope, if you find yourself in a cycle of putting other things in front of exercising and are generally feeling physically lousy, GO GET ACTIVE!

Bookmark to:

I am always amazed at how much more I feel like doing after I workout. I have a ton of energy to go to the store and run those small errands that the previous week (during no exercise) seemed overwhelming and so easy to procrastinate.

A close friend confessed today that she is heavier than she has ever been in her life. She pulled out the Weight Watchers books from years ago to try to follow the plan on her own. Because of course, she is like the rest of us and broke…

I had a feeling all weekend that I also needed to do something to stay on track. I knew I was going to have a stressful week at work so working out was not going to be top priority but I took my clothes to work and went straight to the gym after work. I just didn’t give myself any other option and I had a great workout.

More than anything, I’m ready to be settled.

Bookmark to:

However, I did manage to force myself to go last night and do an interval treadmill run. 5 mph for 3 minutes/ 3.5 mph for 3 minutes~ total 45 minutes & 3 miles. At less than a mile, I wanted to quit… I didn’t want to go in the first place and I saw all those interval bars waiting to be covered on the treadmill screen, ugh! But I stayed on thinking that I had to improve my 5k time from the first trip to the gym last week. It was an embarrassing effort and ending time having not been doing any form of exercise for weeks.

And success was made this morning with a pre-work workout, yippie! I had a work potluck for a birthday… the birthday celebration was for a lady that is lovely and nice and has never participated in any potluck we have ever thrown other than the entire bank Christmas potluck. So why were we throwing her a potluck when she isn’t in our department and doesn’t have an obvious love of potlucks? Because it’s her birthday and that’s what we do…throw seemingly weekly potlucks. It has degraded to nobody even having an idea to cook anything… potluck burnouts who go buy lil smokies to toss in a crockpot with bbq sauce, veggie tray and jars of cheese dip.

But all that is still a temptation sitting outside my office and I knew that I certainly wouldn’t feel like going to the gym if I had a belly full of junk so I rolled myself out of bed and went to the gym. It was the first time I’ve made it to work on time in over a month. It was great! I’m going to try to keep it up… I like the feeling of having it done and it was a lot easier to not pig out at the potluck.

And I’m so happy to be able to just go home after work!  

Bookmark to:

I have been eating out way too much the past few weeks. In combination with not exercising, I started feeling really bad about it which led to more eating out… very bad cycle. I’m paying for it on the scale now but it comes off the opposite of how it came on, right? I got my trusty excel food log back out that I have the WW points programmed in. I just type the food, calories, fiber and fat and it keeps up with the daily points, weekly tally and calculates calories in vs. burned through normal activity and exercise for the week.

I am glad that I have these tools to keep me on track when I get crazy. I was just feeling like a fat, bloated, lazy mess! Tonight, run/walking is on with a co-worker to get me started back up. Depending on some girl friends, I will either be running tomorrow on my own or sharing pitchers of margaritas for Cinco de Mayo.

I can’t seem to get a groove in the temporary digs… just can’t find the right schedule. It is very nice only having laundry, one bedroom and one bathroom to take care of though! Just need to find a routine (or motivation) to make exercise a priority again.

Bookmark to:

 I don’t know where to start to tell how the life of this little girl, killed 19-days short of being 2 years old, went wrong. She was burned alive because she was evidence after her biological father, Michael Palmer, was shot in her presence. The murders happened 1 day after Michael was awarded custody by Judge Gary Arnold of Saline County on the advice of a DHS caseworker, Alyson Hass, & HannahGrace’s court appointed lawyer, Stephanie Casady (wife of Saline County’s Prosecuting Attorney, Ken Casady). Custody was awarded ignoring the advice of the CASA volunteer & Kevin and Holly Carr, Foster-Adopt Parents, who maintained throughout the case that Michael Palmer was unable to care for her financial and health needs. His love for her was never questioned… however his ability to care for her needs was highly contested.

The DHS- Division of Children and Family Services Mission Statement states:
Our mission is to keep children safe and help families. DCFS will respectfully engage families and youth and use community-based services and supports to assist parents in successfully caring for their children. We will focus on the safety, permanency and well-being for all children and youth.

I’m not sure how DHS can justify their mission statement was fulfilled in the case of HannahGrace. Michael was given opportunities above and beyond by the court and DHS to prove himself as a parent due to his biological connection. His paternity was a mystery until the mother, in the middle of losing her own parental rights due to physical abuse, named him as the father. The court required Michael to complete parenting courses and provided ample time to prove that he could independently care for her financial and health needs since there were alarming signs that he couldn’t do so such as Michael living with his mother and being driven to visitations by her.

In the course of the trial, DHS testified to the courts that Michael had complied with all required of him such as getting a fulltime job, maintaining an independent residence and taking HannahGrace to her doctor visits independently. However, during the investigation after his murder, several discrepancies were discovered from what the DHS caseworker reported to the court. Testimony reported he was employed full-time at a store that was later found to be a temp job that he had not worked at for several weeks. He had supposedly secured an independent residence. In fact, he paid the deposit and 1st month’s rent and was in the process of being evicted at the time of his murder. He canceled several doctor visits throughout the case including the dental appointment that had been set by DHS the week before her murder leaving no dental records available to identify her burned remains.

All the requirements of the court were confidently sworn to have been met by the DHS caseworker assigned to HannahGrace. However, the court cannot take shelter for awarding custody due to DHS testimony. There was ample testimony given contrary to the caseworker’s. The CASA volunteer and the Foster-Adopt Parents testified to serious concerns of his ability to provide the level of care that she would need to due serious health issues she had. The CASA volunteer adamantly opposed custody being awarded to her father due to his living conditions and inability to provide her basic medical necessities.

Michael, under oath, testified that he didn’t think it was wrong for HannahGrace’s mother to have contact with her even though her parental rights were terminated for burning HannahGrace with cigarettes. How can a father fighting for custody want a mother that lost her rights for abuse to have contact with her??? And how can the court, which just took away the mother’s parental rights, award a person custody who is obviously going to let the abuser have access to her again?

HannahGrace is not the only case that DHS has been a key player in awarding custody to a biological parent over the reasonable wellbeing of the child, which has led to detrimental results of continued abuse or even death. It is a tragic story that could easily be rectified. Simply put the best interest of the child as priority rather than paternity.

Why were my tax dollars used to pay for a 6-week parenting class ordered by the court for Michael Palmer to attend? If he isn’t fit to be a parent, it shouldn’t be the responsibility of DHS, Family Court or the taxpayer to teach him how to be. HannahGrace had a loving, capable and fit family who were ready to adopt. My tax dollars paid for his lawyer to fight for custody, the parenting class he took… and for what? Him to take his 2-year-old daughter to a house that he was going to fight the resident over money? I guess that should be added to the parenting class- “Don’t take your child along when going to a fight.”

I don’t know where to start on fighting for this little girl’s life to not be forgotten. She was in the custody of a loving, stable foster family for over a year who considered her their own daughter and looked forward to the day they could officially adopt her. We all hold onto the fact that we gave her the happiest life possible while she lived with us.

What is hard not to focus on is the anger about what could have been had she been given the opportunity to be adopted by the people who could give her the (as the DHS mission statement says) safety, permanency and well-being.

It seems overwhelming to change the mentality of an entire court and family law system but I can’t sit back and do nothing. The law cannot continue to put a child in danger based on a priority given to paternity.

If anyone has any contacts with legislatures, the governors office, family court judges, lobbyist/petitioners, I will gladly accept the help. Help me not allow HannahGrace’s life be wasted by the mistakes and misguided policies of DHS and Family Court.

Bookmark to:

I did have to mentally tell myself not to go back for more ham and deviled eggs because I was about to eat the most delicious carrot cake on the planet… but I didn’t feel deprived of the second round of main stuff. I was just giving myself a friendly reminder that I wanted to leave having enjoyed the food and family. I didn’t want to be miserably stuffed and it was definitely a perfect belly full for egg hunting!

With food not being demonized, I haven’t struggled with the guilt or binging. What I have struggled with is keeping exercise a priority. Since the beginning of the year, I have managed to exercise about twice a week and nothing like I used to at Jazzercise. I am thankful for the Women Can Run Clinic that I am doing with a friend because without it, I think I would be on the couch. It gets me out twice a week to run in preparation for a 5K. I don’t even know when the race is… I just show up and run where they tell me to at the speed and time interval. I hate going… I have never felt a runner’s high… I force myself to pull into the parking lot each time… running sucks. But when I leave having accomplished the run and got that exercise in, I feel so much better. I know that if I wasn’t doing this little bit of activity, I would not be doing as good on the food side of my lifestyle or stay as mentally positive.  

I want to get my head around enjoying exercising more again but I just don’t have it right now. I don’t know if it is the stress of moving and having my schedule all messed up or just general lifestyle changes. But for now, I am successfully maintaining my weight so I’m not going to focus too much on it. I’m just going to keep on doing what is working. 

Hope the spring weather is motivating others to get active and eat better. The warmer temperatures make it difficult to eat heavy, fattening comfort food so get outside and eat light!  :)

Bookmark to: